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…tun ystävänpäivä
maaliskuu 11th, 2018
Me: ”It is not even February yet, and Valentine’s day is distressing me.”Me: ”I am single. I probably won’t be invited anywhere. No one is available, if I invite anyone.”
Me: ”Valentine’s treats are always loaded with sugar, so I can’t even bake for myself…”Me thinking: ”But what if I make a sandwich cake?”
Me thinking: ”And watch maybe a couple of splatter movies!”
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On painajaisia ja PAINAJAISIA
elokuu 25th, 2015
I dreamed…In the dream I was going to home with a friend. We were coming from taking care of my pet chickens and heading to a spa.
Me: ”Let’s swing by my place! I’ll get my towel. We can also get some treatment paid on my credit card.”
By my home, I felt something was wrong.Me: ”Could you wait here?”
Friend: ”Okay!”In the kitchen my mother waited for me in stiff state of drunk.
”Oh, you decided to grace me with your preshence?”
I don’t say anything, just go grab my towel.
Bathroom tab is dropping black water and the sewer does not work.After getting the towel I say to my mother:
Me: ”Well, um… What if I visited Taina(* for a couple of days?”
(* Godmother
Mother: ”To help or lazying around? ’Caushe she hash ashked you many a times… ’To give you peace for a couple of daysh’! Bah!”Me: ”Well, I would take a part in household work if I visit longer…”
Mother: ”Whatever! WhatEVER! Drop dead to the ground for all I care!”
Then I woke up.”HUH!”
It took a little while to get to understand what was going on.
”I am at home with my loved ones. Everything is fine.”
Anyway, there are reasons why I don’t care to keep in contact with my mother.
…I am sorry it has to be like this, but I have to protect myself. -
Täysi jäätyminen
toukokuu 29th, 2015
[Phone beeping]Text message: ”Dear customer, clearing of shareholders is ready. To patronize the bank office, please book an appointment by calling telephone number 0200 3000.
Kind regards, Nordea.”Me: ”Well, let’s get that off the way!
[phone being dialed]
Recorded message: ”Dear customer, characterize your business before booking an appointment.”
Me: ”…””…”
”…”
”I-I can’t.”
”Perkele!”
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Elämästä ja kuolemasta
huhtikuu 9th, 2015
I am afraid to die…
But I don’t want to live either… -
Mielenterveys
maaliskuu 22nd, 2015
”Well then, this kind of day…””Oh well, it probably will pass, as usual.”
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Kiitos
tammikuu 18th, 2015
This happened during summer 2014.
I can’t mention your name, or draw you as a recognizable character, in case you broke your employer’s rules.It was a rainy summer day. My father had recently passed away and I was moving to an unknown city.
Money situation was tight, so tight I even had to take cash from my late father’s wallet.
You are an acquaintance of mine, but I am not sure if you knew my situation.I wanted to buy a ticket. I was on my way to Hyvinkää to deal with moving things.
You printed me a complimentary ticket. My money you did not take.
Your friendly gesture back then lifted me up from the depressive swamp my mind was in.My mental health was way off balance at that time. I just wanted to do all kinds of nasty things to myself.
You might have saved my life on that day.
”For that I will be eternally grateful for you.”
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”Se sairaus on sulla vain päässä”
marraskuu 10th, 2014
Depression and anxiety disorder are MENTAL HEALTH problems. But still…I pluck my hair.
It might also fall off on its own (more than usual).I grind my teeth, which wears down my set of teeth and causes headaches.
Anxiety feels like a squeeze in the upper stomach.
My concentration breaks off often, and then I get cuts, bruises and burns easily.
Stress and a bad diet have their toll on my intestines and general digestion.
I pluck and dig my ears until bleeding.
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Suunnitelmat muuttuvat
lokakuu 8th, 2014
”I was supposed to get us another cat, but things did not work out.””Boohoohooo…”
”Snurf…I like you too, Osku.”
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Muutoksen tuskaa
elokuu 18th, 2014
I have recently moved to Vantaa.
I don’t know pretty much anyone in the region.
There is no money to have hobbies and my boyfriend’s hobbies are not to my interests.
No chance to get friends from anonymoys chat forums.
I am lonely.
”Well, on the anonymous chat forum I have learned already, that if you ask for a gift, you’re a boor.
If not, you’re stupid. If you want to give a gift, you are flaunting your wealth and if you don’t want to give a gift, you are a cheapskate.”
*Siiiiiiiiigh*Thinking: ”I need more happy things in my life.”
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Ahdistaa
elokuu 3rd, 2014
In the morning:
I hold up my tears.During the day:
I hold up my tears.
In the evening:
I hold up my tears.During the night:
Thinking: ”I feel so anxious I want to toss myself off the balcony.”
