-
Älä ees kuvittele (sisältövaroitus: veri)
helmikuu 28th, 2016
You broke me into pieces.Then you complained how you hurt yourself with those pieces.
I have barely gotten myself back together.And you have the gall to think I would allow you near me again.
Me: ”Yeah, well, don’t even think about it.” -
Pidennetyt aukioloajat
helmikuu 27th, 2016
Me: ”Freeing the opening hours of grocery shops has probably provided me more suitable work shifts.””Although, people have asked one thing pretty often…”
Customer: ”Well, do you get any customers at this hour?”And I only would like to answer:
Me: ”You are here, too, no? Your total is 9,45 EUR. Would you like a small plastic bag?”
-
Teit tästäkin vaikeaa
helmikuu 27th, 2016
”This comic is about a family member. To protect their identity, I won’t give names.””I ask for discretion, but I remind you, that I have the right to tell this story how I have experienced it.
If people want me to speak warmly of them, they should behave better.”
One day:[Phone vibrates as a sign of text message]
[I scratch my head]
Message: ”I am sorry I said what I said. Thinking of you and missing you. Message me at least if life is good.”
Me thinking: ”I don’t know if I have the energy to keep on anger, but do I have the energy for…”Tantrums?
Arguments?
Me: ”STFU and listen!”
Panic attacks?
[I am hyperventilating]
Me: ”I’d better write some confidants about this.”The evening of the same day:
[Phone vibrates as a sign of text message]Message: ”Well, at least I said sorry.”
Me thinking: ”You made this hard, then!” -
Bad fatty
helmikuu 12th, 2016
”I went and took some blood tests. The my blood sugar levels, cholesterol and liver’s state are screamingly high.””I booked a time for diabetes screening.”
”That can at least be done in the Internet.””I suspect I have diabetes and a humongous fatty liver.”
”For both, the only solution is of course WEIGHT LOSS.”
”I find the thought seriously repulsive!””It is causing me problems already.”
Someone in the net: ”It was nice to have chocolate, chips and dip for evening snack. Tomorrow the same.”
Me: ”Catch fire and DIE!”
”Luckily I bought a ticket to a theater show called LÄSKI (engl. FAT) by Teatteri Takomo.”
”I’ll tell you later if it was good.”After the show:
”I-it was good.”
-
Pimeä puoli
helmikuu 9th, 2016
On the train:Someone behind me: ”Whell, I came back to the trhain, becush YOU don’t want to be with mehhh!
Yeah, I am selfishh piece of shhit! Don’t yell, lishten to me!”Me thinking: ”Yes, let the hate flow through you!”
Me thinking: ”Hate just really makes one really bitter.”Me thinking: ”They’d turn me to the dark side of the Force with ease, though.”
Someone behind me: ”Yeahh, shhut up!”
-
Tallinnassa 09.01.2016
helmikuu 9th, 2016
Me: ”I got to travel!”Kata: ”I promised we’d go to Tallinn.”
We woke up at 5:30 am.
Me: ”I can bring souvenirs in these bags beneath my eyes, geez…”
The train and tram car were on time.
Me: ”Someone out there is blessing our trip.”
Kata thinking: ”We made it!”Level of tiredness was noticeable in the ship.
Kata: ”How does this locker even work?”
Me: ”…”
Me: ”How about like this?”
The streets of Old Town in Tallinn were slippery.
Kata: ”Did you hurt yourself?”
Me: ”No.”We found a nice woollen shirt as a gift for Santeri.
Me: ”Half of my budget is gone.”
Kata: ”That old lady was SO adorable. And my new wool mittens are lovely!”
I found other nice things too.
Me: ”One bar of that chocolate, one bar of that, one of that, and that one too.”Also mugs with animal prints, post cards and pens.
I also found my favourite tea.
Walking was exhausting, though.
Me: ”Wanna head back to the harbor?”
Kata: ”We could, yeah.”
First we waited for hurry, then we hurried to wait.
Me: ”How long left?”
Kata: ”Two hours.”Luckily I had a book with me.
Me: ”A dead person could be said to have joined the ghost pilots.”On the way back to Finland, we went to the buffet for dinner.
Apparently there had been changes in the menu.Me: ”This Caesar salad has blue mold cheese in it? Outrageous!”
[Kata does not like blue mold cheese]Food was generally speaking tasty and there was a plenty of it!
On the ship, we had to do some late shopping, still.
Me: ”One bag of those candies, one of those, one of those too!”Me: ”If someone has not guessed by far, candy is my weakness.”
The rest of the trip went with sitting.
[I have new nail polish] -
Kunnolla kuonoon
tammikuu 18th, 2016
Me: ”Well then, is there anything interesting in Facebook?”[I get punched by things like fatphobia, racist tantrums and stories of rape threats]
Me: ”Maybe I’ll take a walk instead.”
Me thinking: ”Something should be done to those things, though…”
-
Ei taas
tammikuu 15th, 2016
Me: ”I am hungry, thirsty, cold and tired and I should also take a shower…”Me: ”Don’t say you rubbed another turd on the floor.”
-
Kostoisku
tammikuu 15th, 2016
Me: ”Eugh.”
Someone has had to test if gravity works in the elevator by spitting (hopefully it is spit).
Apparently the gravity works, but dried trickles of spit reach from the street level to the twelfth floor.Me: ”In my opinion, that is the nastiest mess in the whole house. I always push the elevator door open with my elbow.”
The house has had cleaners, who take care of the corridors and saunas.Me: ”I have not seen any of them in a long while. They might be on vacation or quit.
I would not wonder or judge the quitting.”Me: ”This is not particularly my business…”
…But SOMETHING must be done to those trickles. -
Rauhoittavaa lukemista
tammikuu 8th, 2016
At the lab:
”Blood works are making me anxious.””Good thing I brought a book.”
[book title: ”You’ll Die”]
Siis tällainen opus kyseessä:
Page 7
